Sunday, July 19, 2009

My Husband Lies & Other Reasons Our Relationship Works

liar1My relationship with hubs has been based on lies from the very beginning.

After high school I moved from Kansas City to Springfield to go to what is formerly known as SW MO State. I spent about a year in 417 land and then moved back to my birth state of North Carolina. I worked and played in the Tar Heel state for about a year and moved to Connecticut with some friends. Still young and free I was able to go where the wind blew. Things did not feel right in Connecticut so I packed up and moved back to KC on the advice of my sister. Sis informed me of this fabulous new job she had for a great computer company with a marketing theme based on a cow and a box.

I began working for the cow computer company after attending an eight week training program. Consider it a crash course in computers before the Internet was readily available and the hottest selling item was a 166 with 16MB; we called it "The Happy Meal" as it was packaged with a 15" monitor and ink jet printer for just $1,599.00.

During the eight week boot camp, we eat, sleep and breath cows and computers. The class spends all day together and then socializes at night together. There was a great mix of people from all walks of life. We enjoyed our time together but I enjoyed one particular class mate more than others. I was smitten with hubs the minute I saw him; he was charming and funny and knew more about my home town than I did, which intrigued me since he had only been there a couple of years. I was later told by a fellow trainee that the attraction was mutual; at one point hubs told the guy that he would "drink her bath water”. I was guessing that was a good thing. The strange thing was, although we all knew each others names, we did not use them, we used what I will call "stage names". Kind of like strippers, but with clothes and less money or attention. The first thing they do is change our names. We would be working in a call center setting so you can imagine how many folks have the same name: I don't want my commission going to someone else. We are told to pick three names that we like and the one that is available will be our new identity. Our new name will even go on our name badge. My new identity would be Kendall and hubs was known as Gannon.

As our training came to an end , hubs mentioned to me he was having a celebration cookout at his house in honor of our graduation. He drew a map for me and gave me his number. I was a little nervous and decided to dress like I didn't care. I wore my black boots, jeans, white button down, and my Yankees ball cap.

When I pulled up to the house as indicated on the map, I was certain I had read the directions wrong. There were no cars in the drive and no one in sight. I rang the bell to be sure. Hubs answered the door. I walked in to his Westport home to hear David and David on the stereo and no grill in sight. The only thing in the fridge was my brand of beer, some ketchup, and some relish. So much for a cookout. After a few beers and dancing around the inevitable, he looked at his watch and said "I guess it's just me and you tonight". (Maybe because he did not invite anyone else).

We never made it to dinner but filled up on drinks and dancing. Before I knew it he had taken over my spare closet and had stolen my spare key. I was able to forgive him for all the deception the night he played a song for me he had written about our first date (what woman wouldn’t love a song written about them….good or bad). To fully understand the context of the lyrics you need to know that at the beginning of the training class we were both living with our “significant” others. We were both living alone by the end of the training period.

It was an ugly situation, I finally realized one day
I hadn’t been happy in oh so long;
It was time to make a change

So I turned one in and I put her in the past

Trade her ass in on a love that would last

Well I did what I did, if when I did it was wrong,
I can tell you I don’t want to be right

The first time that I saw you, I knew what I had to do
I had to tear down fences and burn down bridges if I was ever gonna be with you

So we went to the Beamont on a Saturday night,
Got real drunk and we did it all night

Well we did what we did, if when we did it was wrong,
I can tell you I don’t want to be right

The moral, if any: Sometimes lies aren't all that bad.

1 comment:

Carolyn said...

Dang woman! You should be a country-western songwriter..... or should I say he should be one. Put those lyrics to some music and you have a hit on your hands.

At least he was honest with his "lie".

Can that be considered an oxymoron?????

BTW, love the freaking picture with the post!!