Thursday, June 11, 2009

If You Want to Walk on Water

You have to get out of the boat.

boatFear is a powerful emotion.  It drives us to do things we may not want to do; just   things we may need.  Fear can also starve us from growing as individuals. One of my biggest fears is that of failure.  I have such high expectations of myself that there are times I do not even try to succeed in fear of failing.  I would rather not try so I can avoid not being perfect at something.  Golf happens to be something I would love to play more often but hate the fact that I am not constant.  Brad tries to tell me this is just part of the game but I have decided to stick to driving the cart, locating the beverage cart, and commentary.

In the past, fear has stopped me from potential personal growth as well.  You see, I love people but I have trust issues.  For the sake of keeping this "brief" let's chalk it up to something way back in the day that I can explain later.  This particular experience had a lasting effect on me.  This relationship impacted my romantic relationships as I grew up as well as my friendships.   Although you may not see it on the cover, the book does not tell the whole story inside.  You have to read between the lines.

I do not like to be in situations that make me vulnerable.  With that said, you can imagine why some may say I have "control" issues.  My rational is that if I am the vulnerable one in a scenario, I am not in control.

I am stepping out of my comfort zone this weekend; or should I say, stepping out of the boat.  I do not expect to walk on water at first, but I do expect to be changed.  I was recruited to be a volunteer mentor at the Boys and Girls Town of Missouri Changing Prisms retreat. This is the description of the event from the website:

Changing Prisms is a two-day, task-oriented workshop that provides the young women of Boys & Girls Town with an opportunity to work side-by-side with women who are successful in both their business and personal lives. Throughout the workshop the mentors provide support by sharing personal life-changing experiences, help the girls identify anxieties that keep them from being successful in their endeavors and work with them to establish goals that are realistic for them individually.

Mentors and licensed therapists lead 40 girls as they work in small groups to complete a variety of diverse activities that are both intellectually and physically challenging. Because of the intensity of these tasks, the young women experience immediate gratification, improving their confidence and self-esteem and developing positive coping and social skills.

To put it lightly, I am petrified.  I know I am going to get more out of this than I think I can ever give to these young woman.  I am honored to even be considered a mentor for the cause.  I have no idea what to expect.  My fear this time is exciting, yet rather than immobilizing me, it is motivating me.  I fear if I do not go, what will I miss.

To move out of our comfort zones, we must face our fears.  When the disciples saw Jesus walking on the lake, they were terrified. ‘It’s a ghost,’ they said, and cried out in fear” (v. 26). They were crossing the lake. The wind was blowing. They looked up and saw somebody walking on the water. They were scared! Peter had to deal with his fear to get out of the boat. The boat was his comfort zone. The rough water might have made him uncomfortable, but he had been in rough water before. He had never seen anyone walk on water.  When Peter stepped out of the boat, he stepped out of his comfort zone. I wonder what his first step looked like when he put his foot onto the water. His heart must have been pounding! He had to face his fear to step onto the water. Peter did pretty well for a few steps. He was actually walking on the water! Peter was walking toward Jesus. Then he took his eyes off Jesus, and his
fear started to get the best of him. He noticed the wind, and as his faith gave way to fear, Peter started to sink.  When faith gives way to fear, we always start to sink. To move out of our comfort zone, we must  face our fears. Fear will keep us in a circle of what is predictable and comfortable.  If there is something you fear, face it. Stop running from it. Walk toward it.

First I have a two hour drive...then I will walk.

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