You Never Get a Second Chance...

I have been thinking about something someone said recently.  I normally don’t really listen to him ( ☺ ) but this little tid bit got me thinking.  He was doing some research for something (see how much I pay attention) related to first impressions.  I don’t remember the specifics, but he said something about how when you meet someone for the first time we are worried that our new acquaintance focuses on our less flattering characteristics.  I considered this idea and was really less worried about what the other person was thinking about me and thought more of how I feel about myself.  When I meet someone new, I tend to focus on characteristics about them that I either like or that I wish I had.  These characteristics could be mental or physical.  I am drawn to positive people with upbeat personalities.  I am a firm believer that you need to be around others that lift you up and make you want to be better.  With that said, I tend to recognize pretty quickly when I meet someone new whether I am going to have to put it all the effort to do the lifting. When it comes to physical characteristics it varies with gender.  When meeting a man for the first time I notice his handshake and his eyes.  I cannot stand it, let me repeat, cannot stand it when I shake a man's hand and he either over compensates for something by squeezing my hand like the hulk, or shakes my hand like a fish because he is either a wuss or is afraid of "intimidating" me.  The next thing I notice about my new man friend is his eyes.  They say the eyes are the window to the soul and I truly believe this.  Does my new friend look me in the eye or look away?  We could argue the reasons for this but it is something to which I pay attention.  Of course I notice things like color and size but I pay particular attention to the quality of the eye.  Are his eyes dull or do they have a hint of a mischievous sparkle?  I must say I tend to gravitate towards those with a little mystery; after all, he sparkle and the firm handshake could indicate a long term friendship.  A guy with dull eyes and a floppy fish handshake that won't look at me when speaking may require too much effort on my part.

Meeting woman is a completely different game.  This is where my insecurities come in; rather than wonder what they think of me, I think about how I don’t measure up to them.  If they possess something I wish I have I tend to focus on that; particularly physically.  Two children have had their way with my body and as I age I tend to compare myself to others.  I know, I know.  I should not do this, but who doesn't?  For example; I am a boob girl.  Since having my second child I am not satisfied with that part of my body and am I seriously considering plastic surgery. When I meet a woman that looks like she may have made this choice also, I want to ask her about it.  To my husband's delight, I am in constant research mode and talk to him about the size of other woman's breast regularly.  Funny thing about meeting women is I know pretty quickly if we will get along.  Most of you out there will agree.  You either click or you do not.  I will admit though, I have met woman I thought I would not like to later realize they were having a bad day, etc. and we became friends later.  There are always exceptions to the rule.

So what do you think? Do you worry about what others think of you or are you too worried about your own insecurities to think about them? What do you think they focus on and what do you focus on when meeting someone new?