Sunday, August 10, 2008

Don't Fence Me In

Little Man attended Vacation Bible School last week with one of his friends. Part of our bedtime routine each night is to talk about the events of the day and what is planned for the next. One night while Brad was putting Little Man to bed, Brad asked what they talked about at VBS. "Oh, God and stuff". Brad asked for more specifics and Little Man then told Brad that he is a sheep and God is his Shepard. Impressed with his memory, Brad inquired further. "What does a Shepard do?". "Keeps the sheep in the yard" Little Man said.

His answer got me thinking about my children and the boundaries we have set for them. Children need limits and boundaries. I am not saying you have to be strict, but research shows that children feel safe when they know they have limits. Children feel protected when they know someone is looking out for their best interests. Unless it is related to safety, I don't think I can make my boys do anything; I am merely their guide. Hopefully I will provide them enough knowledge and experiences while I have them in my care that will provide them the knowledge and confidence to make good decisions.

My relationship with God is kind of like this. I know where the boundaries are and I know he is looking out for me. Like my boys, I do not always heed his advice or warnings. I think I know what is better for me, which is so not true. How many times did I hear my parents say I would "get it" when I had my own kids? How many times have a I hoped my boys would "get it" one day.

Growing up I hated to be tied down or fenced in. As I get older I around a lot and tested the limits. We moved back to our home state in 2006 to raise the boys; evidence that you can actually go home. I know my boys will want to move away for a while and I will encourage them to do so, but I do hope that they too will come home again.

13 comments:

The Rev. said...

Very Inspiring-

Reminded me of this from yesterday; the author talks of her parents mastering the "parental juggling act" of both giving your kids both roots and wings.

The Rev. said...

For some reason, the link is being obnoxious...if you click the link at the bottom of this week's Postsecret.com, however, it works just fine....a mystery!

Good N Crazy said...

Saw your blog yesterday, but was just TOO intimidated by those boobs to dare comment...

I love little kids' thoughts on the divine.

Nice thoughts on our boundaries. Too close and they rebel so far out you can't get 'em back, too little and they don't learn control??

I have a 10 year old and think about this a lot.

Miss Got Wings said...

great reflection. Kids have such a way of just laying things out plain and simple, then we adults like to go and overthink, convolute it all.

Glad they're taking the greater message from VBS with them.

katie said...

if it makes you feel better, i left home (KC) for school (boston) for four years (college), but came back. please ignore that i am not there now. i am, however, only 9 hours from home, and appreciate my midwestern upbringing and what it gave me in comparison to my coastal, big-city friends...i'm sure your boys will feel the same.

Half-Past Kissin' Time said...

You're right. NOthing terrifies a kid more when they they think THEY are the "adults" in charge. Boundaries and firm but gentle guidance is a gift to your children; I only wish all children got it.

WE, too, moved back home in 1995 to raise our kids near family; it's been wonderful, especially because we got here in time for my kids to know their grandpa 4444, who passed away unexpectedly in 2003. It's important to get away, and it's important to come back...great post.

Putz said...

do you know what i believe crooked tree????????i mean carrie......i believe your boys were 98 $% made before they came to you and that you would have to do an awfully lot bad for them not to turn out....so br their guide and watch them, but let them flower and with your 2% and god's 98% you will geteat boys...thats what i think

Kelly said...

i remember my parents saying that cliche, "you'll understand when you have kids of your own" and i always thought they were full of it. now i know.

nice thoughts on boundaries. and i love your blog!

Burgh Baby said...

I'm one of the only people I know that didn't go back home in the end. I just can't do the North Dakota thing. I just can't!

Laura said...

Of course they will come home...wherever that is. You are a great mom!

Veggie Mom said...

I have kids of my own, and I finally DO understand. Why is it that we need to wait so long to be clued in?

The Mom said...

Great blog! I gave you an award on my blog....Sex Diaries of a Mom

Birdie said...

Should they go, I hope they come back home too! We finally moved back "home" after 18 years. Home changes a lot in 18 years but we're so glad to be close to family.