Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please.

Some of my fellow “Christians” are disappointing me. Again. This time the subject is divorced women. Why is it, when I go to church the married women treat me as if I am not invited to the party? Have any of you divorced women experienced this? You know what I am talking about. Just because I am divorced does not mean I want your husband. I literally had a woman tell me they were not comfortable hanging out anymore because I am a threat to them now. Do their husbands tell divorced dads the same thing? Do their husbands say to their divorced friends, “dude, we can’t hang out anymore because I am afraid you are going to snatch my wife from me”. Adding to my frustration is when the person throwing the stones has been DIVORCED too!

Now, for some reason when a single dad enters church, or any other place for that matter, he is treated as if he is a saint. “Oh, poor guy. He is a single dad doing his best to raise his kids the best he can”. I guess they forgot I am a single mom doing my best to raise my boys.

Is it because I was the one that “filed” for the divorce (I suppose in this case they forget that marriage includes two people that contribute to the success or demise of the relationship)? Is it because they take Mathew too literally, when it says:

“It has been said, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife must give her a certificate of divorce. But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery.

I suppose if they are taking the passage literally, they would agree that men too, would be committing adultery if they remarry. Maybe it is because they are just hypocritical busy bodies that would rather throw stones at me while they live in their glass houses?

I’m gonna go with the latter and let me tell you why. After a brief hiatus from church due to traveling and the death of my mother, I returned with my boys one Sunday morning in the Spring. Upon entering the children’s room, a woman approached me and whispered she had heard about what happened and wondered how I was doing. I thanked her for her concern and added losing my mother was hands down the most difficult thing I had ever been through. With eyes as big as silver dollars guess what she said. Wait for it.

“I’m so sorry, I had no idea your mom died”. I smiled at her and said "Oh, you must be talking about my divorce".

Other than seeing this woman at church, I did not socialize with this woman. I did not confide in her about my personal life. Apparently, I did not have to. The other busy bodies at church can spread my news for me. Well if you are going to talk about me, tell the whole story. While your airing my dirty laundry you might consider washing yours too.

Good Friend Sunday

Two things I typically try to stay away from on my blog and in life: politics and religion. I suppose it is because it has become uncool to be conservative. Discussions on these two topics can bring out emotions that can dive a wedge between friends and family. I welcome healthy dialogue on the subject but can typically tell from the first few words if it is going downhill. Today's sermon at church had me thinking it may be time to post about this topic and see what kind of trouble I can get myself in.

Today is Good Shepherd Sunday. I did not know this until I went to church. You see, I was raised Baptist. I went to church occasionally growing up and enjoyed the friends I met there. My church had a great choir and orchestra too. I did not attend Sunday school, I have not read the Bible and I can only tell you a few names of folks that hung out with Jesus (and I have two tattoos! eek!). When I moved from my hometown to go to college I did not continue my church going ways. Not until I met my Episcopalian husband, that is. My husband and I lived in KC when we met and we would attend church with his family on visits to SWMO. I remember my first visit to St James very well. It was Christmas Eve. Hubs and I, along with his dad and grandparents were in the pew together. The lights dimmed and Daddy's grandpa leaned over to me and said "this is when they bring in the snakes". You could tell he got a kick out of my reaction, his infectious laugh roared until I figured out he was kidding. The same man that had fun on my behalf was memorialized at church today. The church purchased a new flagon with some of their memorial funds and dedicated it in Pa's name. For those of you that do not know, a flagon is the large vessel of wine used for communion.

Speaking of communion, after almost ten years with my husband, I am still getting used to my new religion. Flagons and acolytes, wardrobe changes and lunges during the service. When do I stand, when do I kneel, when do I call back to the priest? Why is all the music so sad?

The first time I saw my church home I told Daddy it looked like a dungeon, small and dark. Now I feel that adds to it's charm. We have a small congregation compared to those of my baptist roots. I don't know everyone but they seem to know me, and my boys. Our Rector is fabulous; he has a fatherly or grandfatherly presence about him. I love to hear his sermons. Not always for the content, but because I like to hear his voice, it is very soothing. Father Ross will be retiring soon and I am not sure how that will affect our relationship with this church. He really has been the glue that has kept that church going. He married us, baptised my boys, and buried our loved ones. He is our family guide and our friend.

Today we talked about friendship, well not directly, in a round about way. The words shepherd and friend have the same Latin root. I found this to be an interesting coincidence. Just like a good friend, Jesus is there when we need him and we often take advantage of his kindness; after all we typically hurt the ones we love the most. I thought about being a parent and a child. How I neglect myself, my friendships, and relationships but those that I love and love me are there when I need them and vice versa.

John 10:1-10 states “. . . and the sheep follow him because they know his voice.”

A shepherd in those days didn’t walk behind the flock beating them with a stick to keep them moving. He walked in front of them, seeking out a safe path to food and water and shelter. The sheep followed him, because they recognized his voice, and they trusted him. Jesus tells us that’s the kind of Good Shepherd he is. He leads, and we follow.

This got me thinking a few things:

Maybe the reason some do not follow Him is because they do not recognize his voice. Maybe some recognize the voice of other religions.

Much like infants that can not see well, sheep can only see 45 feet in front of them, but they have great hearing. Infants and "sheep" know the voice of their "shepherd" or parent and will find it in the dark. When we are in our darkest moments and are truly listening we can hear Him. I know this from experience. When my children need me they find me, when I need my parents I find them. Even a simple phone call to my mom and dad, being able to hear their voice, can make all the difference.

You have to listen to hear though. Maybe this is why some say they have no proof of a God; they are not listening.

Lately is seems that the media and the like think it is ok to bash those that believe in God; but support those that have other beliefs. Even my own brother, who is not a believer, thinks that I have been brain washed. My brother does not understand how I can Christen my boys when they do not have a choice to do so. I tried to explain to him that I merely provide the opportunity and information and in the end they will decide, just like he has, on what they believe. I do not run around waving a flag and trying to push my views on people but welcome respectful dialogue that opens minds and strengthens relationships.

On this Good Shepherd Sunday, I pray that everyone has a Shepherd to lead them. Whatever form it comes in, I hope that everyone has something to believe in, wether it be on pure blind faith or becasue they have someone to support them.

A very wise man once said to me "If I spend my life believing in the Lord and it turns out he doesn't exist, I have lost nothing. If I don't have faith and it turns out I am wrong..." (We miss you Pa)

I can hear all the delete buttons now...I have been removed from all three blogrolls I was on!

Good Friend Sunday

Two things I typically try to stay away from on my blog and in life: politics and religion. I suppose it is because it has become uncool to be conservative. Discussions on these two topics can bring out emotions that can dive a wedge between friends and family. I welcome healthy dialogue on the subject but can typically tell from the first few words if it is going downhill. Today's sermon at church had me thinking it may be time to post about this topic and see what kind of trouble I can get myself in.

Today is Good Shepherd Sunday. I did not know this until I went to church. You see, I was raised Baptist. I went to church occasionally growing up and enjoyed the friends I met there. My church had a great choir and orchestra too. I did not attend Sunday school, I have not read the Bible and I can only tell you a few names of folks that hung out with Jesus (and I have two tattoos! eek!). When I moved from my hometown to go to college I did not continue my church going ways. Not until I met my Episcopalian husband, that is. My husband and I lived in KC when we met and we would attend church with his family on visits to SWMO. I remember my first visit to St James very well. It was Christmas Eve. Hubs and I, along with his dad and grandparents were in the pew together. The lights dimmed and Daddy's grandpa leaned over to me and said "this is when they bring in the snakes". You could tell he got a kick out of my reaction, his infectious laugh roared until I figured out he was kidding. The same man that had fun on my behalf was memorialized at church today. The church purchased a new flagon with some of their memorial funds and dedicated it in Pa's name. For those of you that do not know, a flagon is the large vessel of wine used for communion.

Speaking of communion, after almost ten years with my husband, I am still getting used to my new religion. Flagons and acolytes, wardrobe changes and lunges during the service. When do I stand, when do I kneel, when do I call back to the priest? Why is all the music so sad?

The first time I saw my church home I told Daddy it looked like a dungeon, small and dark. Now I feel that adds to it's charm. We have a small congregation compared to those of my baptist roots. I don't know everyone but they seem to know me, and my boys. Our Rector is fabulous; he has a fatherly or grandfatherly presence about him. I love to hear his sermons. Not always for the content, but because I like to hear his voice, it is very soothing. Father Ross will be retiring soon and I am not sure how that will affect our relationship with this church. He really has been the glue that has kept that church going. He married us, baptised my boys, and buried our loved ones. He is our family guide and our friend.

Today we talked about friendship, well not directly, in a round about way. The words shepherd and friend have the same Latin root. I found this to be an interesting coincidence. Just like a good friend, Jesus is there when we need him and we often take advantage of his kindness; after all we typically hurt the ones we love the most. I thought about being a parent and a child. How I neglect myself, my friendships, and relationships but those that I love and love me are there when I need them and vice versa.

John 10:1-10 states “. . . and the sheep follow him because they know his voice.”

A shepherd in those days didn’t walk behind the flock beating them with a stick to keep them moving. He walked in front of them, seeking out a safe path to food and water and shelter. The sheep followed him, because they recognized his voice, and they trusted him. Jesus tells us that’s the kind of Good Shepherd he is. He leads, and we follow.

This got me thinking a few things:

Maybe the reason some do not follow Him is because they do not recognize his voice. Maybe some recognize the voice of other religions.

Much like infants that can not see well, sheep can only see 45 feet in front of them, but they have great hearing. Infants and "sheep" know the voice of their "shepherd" or parent and will find it in the dark. When we are in our darkest moments and are truly listening we can hear Him. I know this from experience. When my children need me they find me, when I need my parents I find them. Even a simple phone call to my mom and dad, being able to hear their voice, can make all the difference.

You have to listen to hear though. Maybe this is why some say they have no proof of a God; they are not listening.

Lately is seems that the media and the like think it is ok to bash those that believe in God; but support those that have other beliefs. Even my own brother, who is not a believer, thinks that I have been brain washed. My brother does not understand how I can Christen my boys when they do not have a choice to do so. I tried to explain to him that I merely provide the opportunity and information and in the end they will decide, just like he has, on what they believe. I do not run around waving a flag and trying to push my views on people but welcome respectful dialogue that opens minds and strengthens relationships.

On this Good Shepherd Sunday, I pray that everyone has a Shepherd to lead them. Whatever form it comes in, I hope that everyone has something to believe in, wether it be on pure blind faith or becasue they have someone to support them.

A very wise man once said to me "If I spend my life believing in the Lord and it turns out he doesn't exist, I have lost nothing. If I don't have faith and it turns out I am wrong..." (We miss you Pa)

I can hear all the delete buttons now...I have been removed from all three blogrolls I was on!