Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Pasties, Diaphragms and Back Yard Parties

pasties1I rarely write about my family other than hubs and the boys. I guess I feel like the family beyond the nucleus should not be subjected to such scrutiny. This story, however, was just too good to pass up.

A woman (she is in her early 30’s) recently told me the most hilarious story I immediately told her it would be blog fodder but I would not mention her name. Imagine, if you will, a woman. This woman may not be all that endowed. She is wearing something that warrants not wearing a bra. This woman prefers to not show off her nipples so she get some “pasties”. See, here’s the thing; some woman feverishly try to prevent their nipples from showing and others just don’t care. I am of the don’t care group. But I digress.

So my lady friend attends a backyard party and leaves to head to the next event with her beau. The night continues with a couple more parties and my friend heads home. Upon taking off her clothes to go to bed she notices she is missing a pastie. Not much to get worked up about right? Probably in a back yard somewhere; even if someone finds it they will not be able to figure out to whom it belonged. Or so she thinks.

Seems her soon to be mother law stayed behind at the first party. Something catches the eye of said mother in law and she asks another guest what it is. The mother in law picks it up and makes her own assessment. The next morning my friend listens to a somewhat serious voicemail from her soon to be mother in law asking my friend to return the call as soon as possible with the closing “we need to talk”.

It seems that the mother in law was under the impression my friend had lost her diaphragm. I did not know that was a common occurrence or that pasties and diaphragms look alike for that matter.

My friend is slightly embarrassed and assures her soon to be mother in law that it was just a pastie. I guess the mother in law is not quite ready to be a grandmother.


Candice said...

Oh dear lord. Fortunately, I think the mother in law may be more embarrassed in this case.

Burgh Baby said...

I'm with Candice, I'm thinking more than one person should be embarrassed. YIKES!

Not my real name said...

I just happen to know about this sort of thing. I'm not obsessed, though.

Pasties were devised for burlesque dancers to cover their nipples and aureolae, because laws prohibited display of nipples and aureolae, pubic hair, genitalia, etc. Sort of a g-string for the breast.

The little rubber device that you call a pastie is sometimes sold under the name DIMR, Nipstik or Petal. A DIMR is more the size of a contraceptive device known as a cervical cup, but is only about two thirds the size of a vaginal diaphragm.

kimberly mckay said...